That boy needs therapy...
- The Avalanches

First, I'd like to throw out a huge B-Day greet to Troy of TCN. He and I, for some odd and cosmic reason, share the 29'th of June as a date of creation.

And, yes... On the 29'th I turn 29. Weird. huh? My brother and I were talking earlier and I realized that it's a testament to reality that I've made it this far. For those of you close to me, you know I have a problem doing "stupid" things like driving golf carts all over Put-in-Bay while drunk and working at Cosmos. Yeah, if there were any justice in the world I'd be dead at least five times over - but hey, the spirit of my youth lives on.

Tonight I sat on my porch and killed that nice Cuban cigar Edwards brought me from Baja. It was a perfect afternoon for it too. Light breeze, nice and sunny, and a pot of Turkish coffee to make everything so wonderful. I sat and read the latest issue of Gourmet and thought about dinner. I wound up grilling a steak with a Whiskey sauce and did up some Linguini with chiffonade basil. It was amazingly tasty.

My week went by pretty quick, but hey. Work is going pretty good and life as a whole is rolling on by without any serious disturbances. I saw Fahrenheit 9/11 with Kristy and Tom and it was amusing. I was slightly disturbed by the fact that it was only running on one screen while the epic cinema classic White Chicks was running on three.

The movie didn't disappoint. I've been pretty disgusted with GWB since I first saw him, and this film only re-enforced what an idiot he can be. As a conservative, I'm very disappointed in the entire political system right now. This whole fiasco makes me wish we were back to the days of Blow Jobs from Girls with Big Hair.

I still say we need Rudy Gulliani as our next prez. Shifty? Sure. Bitter and cranky? Absolutely. Ready to break heads? Now that's what Willis was talkin' 'bout...

There was something I forgot to say...
I was crying on Saturday night...
I was out cruising without you...
They were playing our song and I was crying on Saturday night...
- The Misfits


Things might be a little easier for me right now, were it not for good intentions. I've always been a bit more dramatic than most situations call for - especially in the realm of blogging - but this is just how I do things.

The motherboard on my new music PC is shit, so I'm sending that back to Geeks.com Monday. I'm sending it back only after trying every backward-ass fix on the planet. (I even went so far as to turn the Heat Sink around.) I eventually took the MB and tried booting just to make sure it wasn't a Grounding issue. That wore down my moral, just a tad.

Work is work, you know? I love what I'm doing and it's been a great way to "start over" from a culinary perspective, but I'm still just itching to do more. I still dream of owning my own Coffeehouse and making pastries and glorious foodstuff...

I made mention, earlier this year, that my New Years resolution was to "renew my love of food". It's been slow-going, but it's happening for sure. I just don't have the opportunities to do what I really want as far as cooking and eating goes, you know? I mean, on the 30'th Baxter and I are going to Little Italy for a post-Birthday action and later this year I foresee a little Vegas\SD action but those are only half the equation. I like cooking exotic stuff! The last time I had Anne over I made these really nice Pork Medallions in a Raspberry Rosemary Sauce with a mint rice pilaf. I also did a salad plate with a croissant covered in Creme Anglaise and it was glorious! Well, the croissants sucked (Sara Lee?!?) and I used too much salt on the Medallions, but my Devils foodcake towers were pretty cool looking and Anne seemed to enjoy my intense fascination with Turkish Coffee...

Speaking of Anne, today makes it two weeks since we last spoke. I was hoping she would call me, but it wasn't in the cards. I mean, I asked her to dinner twice, I asked her out to a movie, hell, I even baked a cheesecake for her! I guess she was just being polite by accepting my invitations. Figures, I actually liked her.


Every Saturday I bake Muffins. It's become a standard-practice at the Grill for me that Saturdays are Muffin Days. It odd, but my routine is nice. I get up, and get to work by 5:45AM. I get my first cup of coffee, then I go in back and talk to Pete while he finishes the previous shift's Prep and I get started putting my batter together. I have to admit, I do space out a bit while I'm baking. Critical thinking, I suppose. Sometimes I pray, sometimes I review my life's mistakes... Sometimes I wish things were different and sometimes I wouldn't change them for the World. My morning continued with the baking of a Key Lime pie (Yes, another one...) and the failed attempt to sharpen my chef's knife. The fucker would just NOT hold a sharp edge! Thankfully, it was a slow day. We've been getting our asses kicked every day lately and I needed a break. I listened to all sorts of music (Including Oakenfold & Ice Cube, the X-ecutioners, Johnny Cash, and Richard Hell) and casually check my cell phone to see if anyone had called. I went about my business of prepping, baking, and cleaning and eventually, my day came to an end.

I came home and took a nap. The cat, although annoying lately, plopped down on my chest and just stretched out. He gave me this look that was so weird. It was like he was saying: Hey jaggoff! Suck it up already! I flipped through the TV stations and Blade Runner was on. I dozed off and the cat just purred along...

When I woke up, I took a nice hot shower and listened to the Cool World soundtrack. While bathing, I contemplated getting another tattoo. It might be cool!

I ate dinner at the Chinese place around the corner and I was the only one in there. After a nice meal of Mandarin Beef and tea, I went over to GFT and had a cap and read the most recent issue of Gourmet.

This evening has been somewhat downtempo for me, thankfully. Earlier I was on the porch with a clove, a cup of Turkish coffee and some Ciclone (Tequila and Dark Rum) with quartered Key Limes. I listened to Vangelis and thought about being alone. Alone sucks, but hey... At least I'll be completely available when Melissa Joan Hart ditches her husband for a geeky Emo-Electronic superstar.

Five Songs for Saturday Night:
Saturday Night - The Misfits
Hypnotised - Oaknefold feat. Tiff Lacey
Love Plus One - Haircut One Hundred
Fascination Street - The Cure
Brimful of Asha (Norman Cook Remix) - Cornershop


PS: I want a set of Congas so I can rock out with the High Gears on the eventual covering of my theme song, T-Rex's 20'th Century Boy...

Yeah, that's right... I'm bad...

In the book of life, there are only two women: Big ole good ones and Good ole big ones...
- Ice Cube & Paul Oakenfold

It still amazes me how my baking can become a much richer experience by adding music. Actually, that's always been the case. Be it driving, writing, cooking... Certain events seem so much more vivid with the addition of the perfectly placed song. Like today, I had to make a key lime pie. We had three bags of Key Limes and I wasn't really looking forward to squeezing all those little fuckers, especially at 5:45 in the morning, but I got on it right after throwing in an older mix CD I had made. The music I had selected was more downtempo but heavy on the bass. I stood there and patiently squeezed to the smooth sound of Sure Thing by St. Germain and the cranky and\or sleazy guitars of Rumble by Link Wray.

Life seems so full of possibilities at moments like that.


This week has been pretty non-stop as far as work and socializing goes. I went out with my brother after getting off work on Saturday afternoon. We tooled around Toledo for a while and my brother gave me his slightly cracked, but always hilarious, take on the Church I attended as a child. The funny thing is, my brother is a bulky, tattooed, Mohawk wearing, foul mouthed, alcoholic tough guy and he is running -UNOPPOSED- for church council. I love that guy! I hope he gets it too. He deserves a little respect...

After my brother dropped me off, I wound up going to Trotters with my boss, Larry. Standard Meal Rules apply: Brown Jug, Regular cooked medium, Caesar salad, and a shot of cutty with a glass of ice water. Larry is fun when he gets going on the Grey Goose. After Trotters we hit Becketts and I finally had to crash.

On Sunday, Kristy, Tom, and I went to El Zarrape for Chorizo and Eggs. That's become a kind-of standard for us. First it was SamB's, then it was IHOP, now... E-Z baby!

I slept a lot on Sunday. All day I was taking a nap here or there. Plus I slept all night. I've been so beat the last few weeks, that Saturday and Sunday night was just sleepy-time for Jay. I don't sleep for shit anymore, either. I used to be able to sleep through anything but nowadays I'm restless all night which leads to be being grumpy and sore and tired all the time.

Monday, though, I felt somewhat refreshed. I baked a nice Strawberry pie and went about my business. Working with Surley Bob has turned out to be quite a treat. He always says very amusing things! Like Monday? This old guy (Age: Somewhere between 75-85) got on Bobs ass and... well, here:

Old Guy: ...So, what days do you work?
Surley Bob: (Not turning around from cleaning the Grill) Every day but Thursday...
OG: Well, I've been eating here for a long time and there is no God Damned excuse for the way that food's been coming out to me...
SB: (Still not turning around) Sorry to ruin yer fuckin' life...
OG: Oh! A wiseguy too, huh?
SB: Duh! How'd ya think I got this job?

See, Bob impresses me. He's not loud or crass, but he's evil in a very subtle way. I like Bob's attitude.

On Tuesday, Jeb came over after work and we went to Friendly's. Undeniably the worst meal of the year. I'm not even kidding. When we ordered coffee, there was shit floating in the coffee (Not grounds mind you) and the plates for our cheesesticks were nasty and water-spotted everywhere. Then the girl brought out my burger and there was no bacon on it. When I mentioned how I ordered bacon, she just goes back and gets me a side order of bacon. By the time she brought it out my burger was getting cool and it just didn't set right with me. We got a Cosmo's pulled on our asses.

After a less than impressive meal, Jeb and I went and got a Bass Cabinet for the basement. This thing weighs more than me but man does it thump. To test it out, we hooked my turntables up and played Fascination Street by the Cure mixed with Paid in Full by Eric B & Rakim. We went out in the driveway and we could still hear it like it was just in the next room. Praise be for the rock, ya'll!

That evening, my mom and I went to GFT and talked for a while. As we were getting ready to leave I ran into Lauren and spoke to her briefly, then on my way out I saw Kristen Matthews and talked with her for a few minutes. She seemed really excited to see me and was really into the fact that I'm writing a dark and dirty tell-all about my four years at Cosmo's. Weirder still is that I saw her again yesterday as I was walking back from the bank. She's looking really good (She always did look good, actually) as I remember her being a lot more pale and tired looking. She's more vibrant now.

Today, this morning, the whole day... I baked my key lime pie to smooth music, then went on to sharpen my chefs knife, do my prep and come home. I dunno... Things are up and down, but they never fail to amuse me in the end - You know?

"...So I said to him: What kind of a Jew are you eatin' a fuckin' Ham on Easter Sunday?!!"
- Surley Bob

A day in the life of...

I've always thought of Windows 98 as a shoddy trailer laid smack dab in the middle of Kansas. Why was I using it? Because Win2K -although stable- ain't shit when it comes to music. It is now, now that more sound card designers are writing better drivers but a year ago this time? Shaky at best...

My plan was, you see, to build a disposable box just to do internet stuff on. Then I'd buff up a nice fast AMD box and run all my music software off of it. The plan had one hitch and that was that I'd have to make do with Windows98 until I was able to get that AMD box running with WindowsXP on it.

So here I am, less than 4 estimated days away from getting my new BMF of music making computers and Win98 goes down like my ex-girlfriend: Badly...

I have an M-Audio Quattro sound card, a copy of XP (Legal none the less!) and all the right software for making the next hit for Dance Fever. I backed up a bunch of stuff, but I had about 4 gigs of samples and project files that were just getting to be a pain to sort out. New idea! Just dump them onto the new machine via the beauty of Fast Ethernet.

Good plan. Easy plan, actually. Until last night...

I went to check on a few things and I noticed my keyboard wouldn't type words into the web-browser. So I did what come naturally to all Microsoft users: I rebooted the machine.
Next thing I know, I'm getting a message that Windows can't load because a key file is missing.

I freeked out.

I called Kristy and Tom. I even called my Mom... I worked feverishly and without any real logical thought. I tried to re-install 98 but couldn't find a suitable Product Key. Just then, Kristy returned my call and told me exactly what to do. Clam the F down...

I turned off the computer, and went to sleep. Then I woke up, and went to work. All day, I tried to imagine what I would do when I got home. First things last, get a new HD up and running with a new OS. Slave the old HD and transfer what's needed then go from there.

Where I am, is back in a zone of comfort. I'm feeling comfortable because I have a 6 gigger running WIN2K. I got my internet box up and running, and I'll have the hardware for the music box in just a few days. I'll take the next few days to reflect over what happened, and I'll rescue the music as soon as the new machine is up and running. I'm having dinner with Anne Saturday and I have to get my Law & Order fix inbetween somewhere...

It's okay. I'm okay. It's just drama,you know?

5 Songs for working on a PC
The Misfits - The Forbidden Zone
The Breakup - Untitled
The Crystal Method - Vapor Trail
Dieselboy - The Decent
POD - Boom (Crystal Method Remix)
Bonus Song: Jimi Hendrix - Fire (Vinyl with pitch control at +4)

We might just break, can you hear us trying?
- The Beta Band

I've been getting bad headaches on and off over the past week. I haven't been sleeping, for whatever reason, and I've been drinking insane amounts of coffee. Some sort of relation there? I don't think we'll ever know...

Memorial Day was okay, I celebrated by cooking out with my family, visiting with Kristy & Tom, and finished it all off with a little Full Metal Jacket action. Ah, nothing celebrates the memory of our soldiers like R Lee Ermy swearing at Vincent D'onofrio.

In case anyone is interested, there is a great write-up in Gourmet magazine about Hodads restaurant in San Diego. The picture of the burger they show is not dummied up, that fucker is the real-deal. (June, 2004 - Page 44)

And to be a little more specific about Sunday night, the cop who yelled at Steve - his exact words were: Do I come over to your place and climb on YOUR shit? Get going to where ever you gotta go... Jesus Christ!!!
Too bad the cop wasn't Nicole's brother, that might have made it more interesting. Then again, getting yelled at by the Bowling Green Goosesteppers Union is ALWAYS interesting.


So, anyways... I've been spending a lot of time thinking, smoking clove cigarettes and drinking Turkish coffee. I made a killer Arabiata sauce Sunday, along with these Devils Foodcake towers. So good - The food I mean. Life in general is becoming a roller coaster for me. I'm always tired, but full of listless energy. I want to bake and cook all the time now, and I'm becoming addicted to the ritual of cloves and coffee.

Today I opted out of baking pies. I just figured I'd wait till tomorrow and I am kind of psyched for it. We have fresh peaches at the Grill right now so I'm going to do a nice peach tart of some sort. Until then, life on this rock is only what we make of it. There is a better place at the end of the road, but it's a long time coming... So I'll just have some more coffee and bang out some rockin' beats.

What I'm listening to Today:
Jay-Z - 99 Problems
The Beta Band - The Hard One
Jim Carroll Band - People Who've Died
Joan Jett - Crimson & Clover
BT - Smartbomb