work it harder make it better do it faster makes it stronger
(!)

I was ready for a bad weekend.

Really, I was...

Then it all came together for some reason.

Saturday was another day in the life of Jay. I got up, went to GFT, and when I got home spent the entire day cleaning. Saturday night was, uh, wonderful?

Jeb set it up that we were all going to Cohen & Cook to check out their new lounge. Jeb and Kristen, Stevie-D, Kristy and Tom, and... Anne. I spent the evening listening to a lot of Matthew Sweet and in turn wound up feeling kind of insecure. Don't ask me to explain this in great depth, cuz I can't. I can say that I listened to "Girlfriend" and "Sick of Myself" over and over and over till Steve came and picked me up.

We went over to C&C and were the first to arrive. Jeb and Kristen came about the same time as Kristy and Tom. I got myself a White Russian and sat thinking, for a second, how I just wanted to go home and hide in my room. Not talk to anyone. I wasn't sad or anything rather I just felt more useful earlier in the day when I was cleaning and kind of wanted to go back to that feeling. Anne showed up shortly after that and the evening began. There was chatter about "The Belltower List" and bagel-Golf and then Billy joined our party. We all sat and talked and Tom and I decided it would be a good idea to go and pull a "Way of the Gun" out in front of SkyBar. Apparently that's considered a "bad" idea. WhaddoIknow, right? I followed my Caucasian with a Vodka Martini (Lemon twist, no olives) and there was a cheese plate and somewhere in there the long-lost Lauren showed up. Hugs and a quick where-you-been-dawg? and she was off. Then there was the best part of the night... Hannah and a bunch of other people showed up... Kristy wanted a beat down, and for some fuck-reason I put the nix on it. See? I AM human...

After Billy left and the last-call came up, we decided to hit Becketts. I like Becketts, actually. A CG regular named Gus is the manager and he's always really cool when I go in. I had a Glen Livet on the rocks and sat with Anne and Kristy & Tom while Jeb and Steve and Kristen drove around looking for a closer parking spot.

The night ended with a little WH action. Waffles, Johnny Cash and SpiderFace. (Actually, SpiderFace doesn't work there anymore but I love calling her that.)


This morning, I was sure the day was going to suck. I woke up at 10:10 and felt very groggy. I took a shower and got dressed and went over to GFT to get a donut. My MD player's battery was dead before I even hit the sidewalk. I was bumming hard for some reason... A world without music is disgusting to me, I guess. (Hey! Right now I'm listening to "Atom Bomb" by Fluke.)

Bill was in the living room when I got back and we talked for a few minutes. He asked me what I thought of Anne and for some odd reason, I hadn't given it any thought. I quickly reviewed my CSI notes and realized that she's extraordinarily attractive and "fell" into our group discussion very easily. I was genuinely stumped that someone of obvious greatness was associating with our band of simple fuck-ups. Billy, apparently, was talking up my cooking to her. Suddenly, I realized that Kristen had done the same thing last night when she told me I needed to throw a small private dinner party. Kristen, you're alright.

At 1:00 Kristy and Tom, and Jeb and Kristen, and myself all went to the Perrysburg IHOP. Service was lousy, but at least we boosted a few IHOP coffee mugs. Kristen? You're not alright. You're way cooler than "alright".

After IHOP there was a run to FP, and Barnes & Nobel. I got the new issue of Computer Music Magazine and am impressed by a lengthy article on Linux DAW's. The only problem with a Linux Digital Audio Workstation is that it can't run Reason (apparently). After B&N, there was a trip to Maxwell's Brew and when we got back to BG Kristy, Tom, and I hit El Zarrape. El Drunko was our waiter and it made me smile.

What makes me NOT smile is f'ing football keeping the Simpsons off Fox tonight. There was a lot of swearing between the time of 7:50 and 9:00 when L&O:CI came on. And, basically? That was my weekend. Not to shabby...

Tom: Sometimes I want to go to Radio Shack and go through those drawers and be like: "What's that?"...
Jay: And the guy at the counter is like: "Please don't touch that, you'll destroy Moscow" and you're like: "From a Radio Shack?"...
Tom: Yeah, we call that the Mitnick Phenomenon...

"What goes around just comes around this is the sound it's time to GET DOWN..."
- Timo Mass
"I wanna love somebody... I hear you need somebody to Love..."
- Matthew Sweet
"Jesus Christ! What smells like a Dead Cow in here?!?"
- My Brother Brendon walking into a Leather Limited store

Sometimes? All I need is the air that I breath...

This week... (sigh) This has been one of "those" weeks. It all started Monday morning when I got to work only to be informed that someone had broken into the Grill Sunday night. It really wasn't so bad, seeing as whoever broke in didn't actually enter the building so much as they punched in a window and took stuff off the back shelf. Stuff like water-pitchers and measuring cups? So stupid... BUT! They also decided to steal our chef's knife which pissed me off to no end because I had to dice a F-load of onions and green peppers with a friggen boning knife! As the day went on and I got more and more pissed off at the world, it occurred to me that maybe some psycho stole that knife and it's going to wind up plunged directly into some coked-up Sorority Skank's chest. It doesn't bother me so much that someone might go and try to thin out the heard -so to speak- but that MY prints are on the damned thing.

I got home later that afternoon, only to find out that my cable modem was down. It was down for two days. Jay No Happy.

The rest of the week is kind of a hazy blur of upsetting moments and extremely dull NW Ohio moments.

I did have dinner at Cohen & Cook with Jeb this week, though. I like that place, as it's very classy and the girl who works there is extremely cute and pleasant.


Fuckin' A Right!


I went to Grounds this morning and read for a bit while the snow came down. It was very inspiring and it was a lovely sight. For once it wasn't a F-cold bitter windy morning. The snow fell peacefully and it made for a nice walk up into town. While I was at GFT I managed to write out a full menu for a dinner I don't really plan on making. I love planning and writing out menus. That's one thing I've always liked to do, as I feel I'm creative enough to do it without screwing it up too bad.

Plate 1
Fried zucchini Flowers stuffed with Basil Mascarpone
prosciutto & Red Pepper Stuffed Crepes

Plate 2
Orzo Pyramids with Roma Tomatoes and Mushrooms
Fired Eggplant with Roma Slices
Red Pepper Coulis

Plate 3
Tournedos de Pancha
Garlic & Peppercorn mashed potatoes
Tossed greens with Lemon Pepper Olive Oil

Plate 4
Baked Pears over Puff Pastry with cardamom Whipped Cream
Vanilla Bean Ice Cream (Homemade?)


The ideas came to me kind of quick today, like my mind was lined up and ready for action. I love those kind of moments.

I also got to see the first trailer for Van Helsing today. I'm really impressed, but not nearly as impressed as the trailer for Starsky & Hutch! Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson are a good combo, but Vince Vaughn looks Hilarious! I hope he gets back on his game. Aside from Swingers and MADE, his career has been pretty weak. (No, I never saw Old School...) Also, and this is the most important part: Snoop Dog will be playing the part of Huggy Bear. I was laughing so hard when I saw him in the preview with the few lines he spoke. Plus, on the movie web site there is a "Pimp-Name-Generator"....

I am: Adonis "Fly" Jay

Aww yeah... Funky...

You're so money, and you don't even know it...

I had breakfast with Kristy and Tom this morning. Casual eggs-and-pancakes sort of thing at Kermits. Or, more specifically, "diner food". I love a good hometown diner for some reason. Meatloaf, pork chops, mashed potatoes, coffee... all that stuff...

But after breakfast I was a bit restless. I paced the house looking for a moment of clarity but it just wasn't there. I tried to do a bit of work on a DJ mix, with minimal success (I got 4 songs lines up perfectly and then I hit a wall...) and threw in a load of laundry.

I decided to go up to GFT for some coffee and a little ME time. I sat there daydreaming of girlfriends and women who will never be (or couldn't ever be) girlfriends over a cup of White Russian coffee. I was caught somewhere between all the women in this world and all the food I'd love to cook for them when I had a culinary-moment. A hundred ideas all rushing into my head at once! Valentines Day is coming and I thought back to how good I used to be at "it". That game all men are obligated to play, and how we all secretly like to play cuz we always think there is a chance of winning. (Like getting sucked into a game of Tic-Tac-Toe with your computer.)

It was a narcissistic moment, really, because I was really just thinking of myself. I'd like to say that I'm unimaginative or devoid of lusting after a specific woman, but really it's just that I'm in love with myself. I pictured myself working in the kitchen... Dressed in khaki pants and a white dress shirt with an apron around my waist doing delicate micro-surgery on a prosciutto an red pepper stuffed crepes while listening to Bjork doing Big Time Sensuality. I saw a disturbingly classy meal filled with intricate courses and port wine. I heard custom mix CD's without ever having burned a single track. I had the perfect haircut, all the right moves, all the right things to say...

But to who?

No one, that's who. Between Jeb specifically forbidding me to date certain women (for my own good) and me just dating any woman that even LOOKS at me like I'll get some... Look, I'm a mess.... Yeah, I know. I'm pretty vain when it comes down to it, but look at my track record here! I haven't had a girlfriend I could just... TALK TO in forever! All the women I've ever dated have been bitchy, obnoxious, self-involved fringe-types. And my vanity stems from that completely. When you're taught to look good, act right, and flash your "bling", it just becomes natural. Not that I ever over do it, mind you, but sometimes substance obviously gives way to style and we all know my theory on style right?

Style is a myth...

When I was in HS, I met this girl named Ellen Schwanbeck. I used to run a BBS and she dialed in one night. It was a weird scenario all around. That night we had a major snow storm and I knew school would be cancelled the next day. It was a lock. So when she hit my sysop-pager (Think IM + Old School) we talked for about 15 minutes and decided it was time to go Vocal... She called me and we talked from 10:45PM until 6:30 that following morning. Structured, intense, unscripted, no-bullshit talking. Movies, books, music, people... Spontaneous combustion of dialogue.

She ruined me. Every woman I've ever dated has not lived up to her shining example. Yet...
(I'd also like to make it clear that Ellen and I never dated, but she was THAT good that I've never forgotten her.

But that was 10 years ago. (Time sure flys when you're fucking up your life and those lives all around you...) I've dated 3 women seriously and had a bunch of flingy-stupid moments inbetween.

I can't seem to meet and connect to a woman on my level. Spiritually (I've never dated a "nice Lutheran girl"....), emotionally (Fuck your Ex-boyfriend, I'm here NOW...), intellectually (what do you mean you've never read "Windows 2000 Security Design"?!?!) or without stability issues (I have to use an alias when filling out my tax-forms or the FED's might find me!)...

Spirituality is so important, too. I've dated atheists, agnostics, born-again's, a catholic, and had a close-call with a Christian Scientist, but never just found a woman who's a good God-fearing type. (Hence my desire to find a "Nice Lutheran Girl"...)

I'm not looking for a genius, just a woman who can hold her own in a conversation.

And I don't give a shit about you're ex-boyfriend, okay? He's an idiot for letting you go. And you know what? Your dad and brother are probably idiots too! (The same way I expect you to think my mom is a pain-in-the-ass...)


Ugh. This is just wrong. This whole rant... So, yeah... I think from here I'll just make up a crazy-assed elaborate Valentines menu and if any single-spiritual-"nice" girls are interested, hit me.

That's it, I'm done...



"Modern Love... It gets me to the church on time..."
- David Bowie

she sings from somewhere you can't see...
she sits in the top of a greenhouse tree...
she sends out an aroma of unrefined love,
it drips on down in a mist from above!


she's just the girl!
she's just the girl!
the girl U want!


you hear her calling everywhere you turn...
you know you're headed for the pleasure burn!
but the words get stuck on the tip of your tongue...
she's the real thing, but you knew it all along...


she's just the girl!
she's just the girl!!
the girl U want!!!


look at you with your mouth watering,
look at you with your mind spinning...
why don't we just admit it's all over?
she's just the girl you want!


she's just the girl!
she's just the girl!!
the girl U want!!!


she sings from somewhere you can't see...
she sits in the top of a greenhouse tree...
she sends out an aroma of unrefined love,
it drips on down in a mist from above!


she's just the girl!
she's just the girl!!
the girl U want!!!


look at you with your mouth watering,
look at you with your mind spinning...
why don't we just admit it's all over?
she's just the girl you want!


she's just the girl!
she's just the girl!
the girl U want!!!
she's just the girl...
she's just the girl...
THE GIRL U WANT!!!!


Devo rocks... Did I ever mention that?

What's yer man got to do with me?

You know, when I get down I tend to head into the kitchen. Being depressed, or even just moody, is when I generally create some of my best works. I don't talk much about food in this journal, and it just occurred to me that I don't know why that is.

My New Years Resolutions are but 2:
A.) Swear a LOT more
B.) Re-affirm my love of food

For those not in the "know", I am a cook. I'm a chef. I'm a baker... Call me whatever the hell you want, but I love to cook. It's the one thing that has always been natural for me. People coming over? Make dinner. Holiday coming around? Time to do some baking...

But when I get down... When I really feel like shit, that's when I get going on a culinary tangent. Like tonight, for example...

Tonight I'm making a Ragu di Napolitano. A classic Ragu is a tomato sauce that develops most of it's flavor from three types of meat that are added at various stages of cooking. This thing takes about five hours to pull off, and it's so worth the wait.

But lets not get ahead of ourselves...

Today at work I was hit, for the first time, with the sick realization that I always fall for women completely out of my league. Woman who, for one reason or another, become close to me but inevitably whined up madly in love with some one else. From about 11:30 this morning, that was all I could think about. I knew I'd be cooking tonight.

After work, I walked up to the market and got one onion, one pound of stewing beef, and one pound of Italian sausage. I also got two 28 oz. cans of whole tomatoes.

When I got home I checked my email, checked to blogs, and took a long hot shower while listening to Philip Glass' intense rendering of the song "Heros" by David Bowie. When I got out of the shower, I was prepped.

I entered my kitchen and began heating some EV olive oil in a large stock pot then I grabbed my razor-sharp knives and went to my trusty cutting board. I diced my onion (and didn't shed a tear) and pressed and chopped three whole cloves of Garlic. I placed the onions and garlic in the pot and embraced the sizzle and sweet soft aroma. I then trimmed the beef into tiny pieces and added them to the pot along with one cup of Ruby Port. I placed the lid on the pot, and began heating some more olive oil in a frying pan. I then cut my Italian sausage into small pieces and began cooking them with a heaping table spoon of crushed red pepper. While I was waiting for the port to cook down and the sausage to brown, I placed both cans of tomatoes in my food processor, along with a diced red pepper, and one table spoon of each: Rosemary, Parsley, and Oregano. (OR-Aye-Ganno? WHAT THE HELL?) I pureed the tomatoes till they were smooth and added two tablespoons of sugar. As the port cooked down and the sausage was got done, I added the tomatoes to the pot and gently stirred in the sausage.

As I stirred, I played Camille Yardbrough's "Take Your Praise" on the stereo in the living room. A nice, smooth, jazzy piece sampled in Fatboy Slim's class-A piece "Praise You". I even sang along, as I have been known to do on many different occasions when (I think) no one is looking. (Yesterday Linda caught me singing "Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon"...)

Now you just stir. For three hours, you stir. You don't let the sauce stick. I had to miss the Simpsons today because I couldn't leave the stove. But I had plenty of music to keep me company. Like Boney M. singing "No Woman No Cry". More disco than reggae, it's an awesome song. The trick to this sauce, you see, is not the ingredients but the process itself. You have to be patient and you have to show some love. You take this big pot of sauce, and you cook it down to half. It gets thick at about two hours, but need to cook for about three to get the beef nice and tender. And I know earlier I said this sauce has three types of meat, but I only use two. Veal is too expensive (Cruel but tasty) to chop into little pieces and drowned in tomatoes. Beef and Pork are all I use, but Pork? It's just like that scene in Goodfellas where they're all in prison cooking in their cell\dorm and Vinni makes that classic quote: "Awww... The pork is the FLAVOR..."


When the sauce it done (in about 25 minutes or so) I'll have it over some cavatelli - courtesy of Kristy and Tom. I'll bust open a bottle of Chianti and talk with Billy about "this" and about "that". All the same stuff I always gripe about... But at least I'll have spent an evening doing what I do. Keeping my mind off of being on the outside looking in.

Together we will roll into the Mystic...


2003 was indeed an interesting year. We saw the third incarnation of this web journal, a killer storm, 3 weddings, and some major changes in the world as a whole.

Most impressive of all the events that took place this year, was my getting fired from Cosmo's. I didn't think GL had the grapes, but, hey... My work was "inconsistent".

Then there was Justin Baxter's wedding. I was a groomsmen, and I baked an ass-load of Cheesecakes for the reception. It was a great day for my ego.

Then there was "the" storm of a lifetime. (No, not me breaking up with my ex...) Early July saw a freak storm with winds that peaked at 102 miles an hour. I saw trees going PAST my house, and powerlines exploding right in front of me. Someday soon, I'll get those pics scanned for you guys to review.

Then there was Jeb's wedding. What can I say? He and Kristen tied the knot and I was there to cause all the trouble possible.

And inbetween all this, I took a small job at the Corner Grill and wound up falling in love with my work again.

This year, I also read a book which would forever change my force-fed-PC view of the workplace: Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain. This book is right up there with The Bible and Burning Chrome; It's changed my life.

This year, I managed, for the most part to stay away from trendy cute fuck-around music (the likes of Outkast, Liz Phair, and Evanescene - God I hate them!) and stuck more to real music with only a few exceptions.

Selected Music of 2003
THICKE - A Beautiful World (Album)
Medusa & DJ Spark - Cold Piece of Work (Single)
DJ Icey - Different Day (Album)
Jet - Are you gonna be my girl? (Single)
DJ Smash Presents Phonography 2 (Mix CD)
Danny Tenaglia - Choice \ A Collection of Classics (Comp CD)
K \ Low - Split (sampler CD)
Lewis Black - The Rules of Enragment (Comedy\Spoken word)

Musically, there were a lot of ups and downs this year. No real quality with the new stuff that was out this year, but still a few that shined through. Not only that, after a year of working on my own music, my PC up and committed suicide in May. No note or nothing, just a loud pop and a lot of swearing on my behalf. On the other hand, after I was forced to buy a new PC, Jeb and I started recording together in July and have come up with some pretty good stuff. 2003 saw the formation of a few new local bands too...

Saint vs Sinner - Jay & Jeb
Blue Label - Jay, Jeb & Harr
Angola Speedway - Jay, Jeb, Steve D, Baxter, and Harr
Cat 5 - Jay, Kristy & Tom

2003 also had a slew of movies which weren't "all that". The two sequels to The Matrix were good but not up to the challenge of ending the series on a strong note. KILL BILL - Vol. 1 is my pick for Movie of 2003, no questions asked. Uma is a hottie, and the humor\camp 70's throwback\violence was just great. Honestly, I was more impressed with the teasers for the movies of 2004 than just about anything I saw in 2003. (I did like LXG, however... It was "fun" and that's about all you could ask from an action\fantasy flick.)

DVD's were good this year. Mr Show came out, as did the 3'rd season of The Simpsons. My personal favorite for the year was Law & Order - Crime Scenes, a limited edition DVD available only at Barnes & Nobel.


Of course, this was also the year California saw a Genetic freak win an election, then the place caught on fire, and then 6 inches of ice dropped on LA, only to end the year with killer mudslides... Yeah, but it sure beats "rolling blackouts", huh?

This year we got a kick ass war which didn't accomplish much, but at least we got to blow some shit up.

Plus we saw a lot of celebrity deaths in 2003. I could have given a good F about John Ritter, but Barry White and Johnny Cash? Now that's just wrong! I miss them. (P.S. - I didn't mention "The Man Comes Around" earlier because it came out in 2002.)

2003 was an intense year with a lot of up's and down's. Some good moments, and a few bad ones. All in all, this was just another year but a pretty good one when all was said and done. That's it, I'm done!

"...On the other hand? Number of killer-Ohio-Mudslides on Christmas day? ZERO That's a statistic you can count on!"
- Tom
"Baxter?!? I could PHONE it in better than him..."
- Kobiela
"Baby Girl, you da shit! That makes you my 'equivalent'..."
- THICKE

"So... You guys are Eurotrash, huh? How's that working out for ya?"
- Moe (The Simpsons)

I've decided to do my own year in review, but I'll need a few days to get myself together. In the meantime, watch this video clip. (I tried telling people about this clip a long time ago when I saw it on TV, but just found it online yesterday. Classic...)

http://www.damageincmxphoto.com/Movieclips/C-Petty.mpg

Trust me, it is so worth the quick download. :-D