Rape is no laughing matter, unless you're raping a clown...

I was on t-shirt hell tonight and found a few of the shirts very amusing, even though saying so could get me in a lot of trouble. Anyways, I've been holed up for the last few days dealing with migrains and allergy attacks. I had a real swell allergy attack yesterday while Jeb and I were working on some music. Nothing quite like trying to work the decks and having snot continually coming out of your nose!

I constructed some new loops tonight and had a wonderful lemon biscotti from Lil' Italy (courtesy of the amazing Billy Hanway - trapped in Wine Purgetory). Aside from seeing Kristy and Tom at the Grill today, this was what it was.

Labor day is right around the corner, and Jeb's bachelor party is soon after that. (Anyone know where we can score some hookers and crack?) Hey now, everyone stay frosty... I was just kidding...

On a lighter note, I snagged a copy of "Sick of Myself" done acoustic by Matthew Sweet tonight. Reminds me of that cool video he did where he just drove around with his dog, but that just reminds me of my days trapped at Sufficient Grounds as a line cook on the sandwich board. (shiver) But that makes me miss my old co-worker Chris. He was way cool and we lost touch after he quite SG and I flaked out and left their bakery in a snit.

Oh, and way cool for BG - oh yeah - The Tom Tom Club is coming for the Black Arts Swamp shindig... (sly grin) Many of you have no idea who the TTC are, yet you've heard them a million times. Most recently their song Genius of Love was used in a Kia commercial. The one with the woman who was always driving around with different men in the car? (scoff) Whore...

"I'm beginning to think... yeah, baby, YOU don't know..."
- Matthew Sweet

Amazing Quotes:

"The mother fuckin' blaster-worm can suck my cock..."
Anonymous

"I hate Sand & Camels"
A saying on my boss' T-shirt

"...this is going to be Epic..."
Edwards, on Jeb's Wedding

"Excuse me Mr Pink, but the last fuckin' thing you need is another cup of coffee..."
from Reservoir Dogs

I went and saw LXG with my mom tonight. I liked that movie quite a bit, to be honest. It was fun, and that's all it needed to be. It had a good cast, good premis, and was 96 minutes of fun. It was based on a graphic novel by the same two geniuses who wrote From Hell and made by a few of the same cast and crew. For 2 Bucks, it was worth seeing in the theater, and whats better is that the villan wears a ring with the Free Mason symbol on it. For my money, that's what I like seeing.

Speaking of movies, I was tipped off to another amusing looking flick... Van Helsing looks pretty damned good. It's hard finding much more than a premis online, but even that looks pretty cool. (www.vanhelsing.net)

I spent the day boating with Justin and Katie, and Shawn and Missy yesterday. It's always fun beiong out on the Lake, even if the water is green and nasty. There was a lot of choppy water out near Cedar Point so we didn't make it to Put in Bay, but the day was nice nonetheless. I wound up hanging out with Nicole last nigth and we watched Bowling for Columbine. That movie is really quite good, if not slanted to the left a little too often. I'm sorry, but I just don't believe bad parenting stems from working at Lockheed Martin. In fact, here's a tip for all the baffled parents out there: If your kid suddenyl starts dressing in black, acting weird, and devlopes a infatuation with guns and violence, it's time to step in. Obviously, just LIKE the kids you were put in charge of, you need to be told what to do. Hmph... Plain and simple.

(sigh) Where was I? Dammit, now I lost my place... Oh! My goal for the rest of the year is this: I want to be able to say (preferably to my next girlfriends parents) that I am a Process Serving, Notary Public, Grill Cook-Free Mason. Thats it. I wanna notarize shit...

Alrighty, I'm going back to work on music. Later peeps.

THAW OUT JIM NEIGHBORS!!!
- Mr Burns

Finally, some news I can actually give a rats ass about: Hank Azaria won an Emmy for his work on The Simpsons.

All I gots ta say 'bout that is HELLS YES!!! Now, where's my big sandwich?

I remeber a time, a long time ago... More than ten years now I guess... I remeber the first time I saw the movie "Pump up the volume" I hooked onto the song "Everybody Knows" by Leonard Cohen. Everyone only knew the Concrete Blonde version, but I had snagged a bootleg copy of "I'm your man" from a friend (which eventually died a horrible death in my old Colt Vista mini wagon) and listened it to death. Leonard Cohen is amazing, and looking back, he's one of the few voices I can say actually shaped my existence. Here I am more than 12 years later, and still cynical. As I grew over the last ten years (after High School) I found more and more of his music and how it fit into my life so well. Nights left to songs like "Waiting for the Miracle" or "Dance me to the end of love"... In fact, I remember one nearly unbearable night of drinking, smoking, and crying myself to sleep while listening to the song "Anthem". (Thanks Hannah! You're a peach!)
Now, here is another day and there is an unsettled feeling in my stomach. I dunno, just the basic stupid non-confident Johnny Tao and all my screwed up mis-adventures... So, here...

Everybody Knows by Leonard Cohen

Everybody knows that the dice are loaded...
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed...
Everybody knows that the war is over...
Everybody knows the good guys lost...
Everybody knows the fight was fixed...
The poor stay poor, the rich get rich...
That's how it goes,
Everybody knows...

Everybody knows that the boat is leaking...
Everybody knows that the captain lied...
Everybody got this broken feeling...
Like their father or their dog just died...

Everybody talking to their pockets...
Everybody wants a box of chocolates...
And a long stem rose...
Everybody knows...

Everybody knows that you love me baby...
Everybody knows that you really do...
Everybody knows that you've been faithful...
Ah give or take a night or two...
Everybody knows you've been discreet...
But there were so many people you just had to meet...
Without your clothes...
And everybody knows...

Everybody knows, everybody knows...
That's how it goes...
Everybody knows...

Everybody knows, everybody knows...
That's how it goes...
Everybody knows...

And everybody knows that it's now or never...
Everybody knows that it's me or you...
And everybody knows that you live forever...
Ah when you've done a line or two...
Everybody knows the deal is rotten...
Old Black Joe's still pickin' cotton...
For your ribbons and bows...
And everybody knows...

And everybody knows that the Plague is coming!
Everybody knows that it's moving fast!
Everybody knows that the naked man and woman,
Are just a shining artifact of the past...
Everybody knows the scene is dead...
But there's gonna be a meter on your bed,
That will disclose,
What everybody knows...

And everybody knows that you're in trouble...
Everybody knows what you've been through...
From the bloody cross on top of Calvary...
To the beach of Malibu...
Everybody knows it's coming apart...
Take one last look at this Sacred Heart...
Before it blows...
And everybody knows...

Everybody knows, everybody knows...
That's how it goes...
Everybody knows...

Everybody knows...

...When all we see is the View to a Kill....

Hey, guess what? Cedar Point FLOODS! Yeah, it's great to be tromping through water that's ankle deep and filled with leaves, bark, cigarette butts and pigon shit.

Okay, yes... I did have a good time yesterday, but man oh man, I can't go anywhere without some Drama following me. The day started nicely. Very sunny, really warm - beautiful day for an amusement park. We rode the rides, did the coaster thing, it was fun. By noon or so, the sun got to be too much though. We wanted to ride Thunder Canyon but it had closed for some reason. After tooling around and rideing the ride that had short lines, we went back and the Canyon was rolling. I got soaked and it felt so good. It was around a hundred degrees in Sandusky with the heat-index about that time and the water (although from Lake Erie) felt really good. We had lunch and continued rolling around the park. Then sometime right around 6:00 a thunderstorm warning had been issued for the county. 'Eh, we're all big kids so we weren't too worried. We stopped across from where the Mine Ride is and Justin got an Elephant Ear and I got a burger. Well, the sky was dark and it kept getting darker. Then the rain started, it was slow and soft at first, but the temp had dropped close to 30 degrees in a very short period of time. We started heading back totwards the front of the park and the rain wasn't too bad. We were right by the Gemini and there were all these people huddled up under the prize-scam booths. I had some smart-assed comment about how all those idiots were so afraid of a little rain. And now, looking back, I got what I deserved for making those comments... Because the sky opened up.

We made it to somehwere near the Iron Dragon, I THINK, when we tried hiding under one of those booths also, but it was no use. It had started raining so hard, and it was coming from the side rather than straight down, that I made a run for that big arcade near the front of the park. My exact words as I was getting dowsed with water was: "FUCK THIS NOIZE! I'M MAKING A RUN FOR IT!!!" This only made things worse. As I took off, I made a jump to clear this mid-sized fence, and as my foot landed on the top beam I felt it buckle, but I made a thrusting leap and was off. Thinking back, it didn't matter because the water was coming at me so much and so hard that I couldn't see anything. I lost Baxter and the kids we were with, but somehow, by the grace of God, I spotted them and we collected near the Wildcat. I really can't explain -very well- how bad the weather got and how hard it was to find my bearings. I was lost in this down-pour of rain and people running like Jesus was live in Concert at the IMAX theater. Once I saw Justin and the rest of the kids, we just started walking. It didn't matter anymore. We were soaking wet (and I mean WET) and shivering with a newfound cold. Lovely.
We walked from where the said-IMAX theater was and just stuck together. We were more wet than when we had gotten off Thunder Canyon, and now we were tromping through ankle-deep water. And yes, it WAS up over our ankles. CP employees were pushing water out of the shops with brooms, garbage cans were floating and the rain just kept coming down. I took off my glasses and my sandals and just waded through a river of shit.
We met back with the whole group of 20 or so people we went with (Justin's youth group) and just tried to put ourselves back together. I was soaked straight through, nothing on me was dry. As the rain passed, and the people filed out of the park, we saw the rides start back up so we went back into the park. By now it was about 7:00, and we had all agreed that we would be leaving at 8:00. Justin and I went to the Johnny Rocket's up at the front of the park and had some coffee and a proper dinner. It was actually a nice way to unwind at that point. I was stiff and tried fromt he walking, the suden drop in temperature, and the fact that I was sopping wet. While we were at JR's, the staff did a dance routine to "Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees and "Love Shack" by the B-52's. There was this waiter there who was a little heavy and REALLY into his job when it came ot the dance routines. It put a smile back on my face.

The ride home was long and fairly quiet. I was still wet at 10:00 and extremely tired. When I got home, I took a nice long hot shower, drank a cup of decaf tea, and had a bottle of port.

Which leads me to today. I woke up with a terrible sunburn. It hurts really bad, even as I type. I took a shower, and got dresses, then went to SamB's for breakfast. Dare I say it, I had the most perfect breakfast there ever. The eggs tasted so good, the Bacon was not burned, and the english muffin was nicely toasted. It was one of THE best meals I've ever had there.

Now I'm home. I'm still kind of tired, but I'm plugging along. I wrote a few new loops in Reason and played a little GTA, now I'm writing in the'ole blog while listening to "The Best of James Bond". Right now I'm on "Live and Let Die", but nothing tops "Nobody Does it Better".

Now, a classic Bloom County quote:
Tipper Gore: "Well, Mr Dallas...We've heard your smut masquerading as songs and we've also heard how Teen Prostitution, Pregnancy, Drug use, Cults, Runaways, suicide and poor hygiene are sweeping this nations. We though you might like to share with the committeeany particular CAUSES You might see for those latter problems...
Steve Dallas: "I dunno.Maybe the proliferation of narrow, suffocating zealotry masquerading as PARENTING in this country...

"DING! FRIES ARE DONE! DING FRIES ARE DONE!!!

Tired.
Very... Tired...

The week was a rough one. I helped Kristy and Tom move into their new place, Hung out with Baxter a few times, and worked a lot. I've done a few new loops in Reason for Jeb and I to work with, but my addiction to the GTA (the original one) is slowly taking over me again. I just got done doing about two hours worth of Killing Cops, driving over people and blowing shit up.

Aside from that, not a lot to say - although - last Sunday was like the day of Lost Women in my life. In the course of 12 hours, I suddenly see Lauren at GFT, Katie (Cosmo's Katie) comes online and we talked on the phone, and Leslie just appeared online (although she didn't return my IM).

I spent last Sunday with my mom, and that was a treat... We talked about her Church and how screwed up it is. I mean, what else WOULD we talk about? My mom doesn't know nuthin' BUT good ole Bethlehem Lutheran Church. (sigh)

I had a real nice baked ziti last night for dinner. I don't make it all that often and for the life of me I can't figure out why. I had Baxter and Katie over and we got down on some of my so-so cooking, that is to say, my baked ziti. It was unfortunate because I wanted to do some sausages and red peppers too, but it was fuck-hot in my kitchen so I said screw it.

And of course, more drama in the US... Look, I don't give a fuck who did what, or where it all started, okay? It is NOT all that interesting folks! It's not like this is 9/11 all over again! Good Lord!! I was listening to 93.5 at work today and it was just over-and-over about this stupid assed blackout. I was so sick of all this shit that when I got home, I cranked up the AC in my bedroom,turned on all the lights in the house, and did a load of laundry too. That'll show 'em...

Oh, and more good news! The fuckin' tracktor-pull started today at 1:00! Yay! I can't tell you how nice it is to still be hearing diesal engines roaring at 10:45 at night...

So there.

"You're pretty smart, huh?"
"Mmm, well... I do have my moments..."
From Pulp Fiction

Fridays have become something new to me, you know? I have to get up at 5:30 in the morning, which sucks, but I get to go to a job I love and I know that I'm done at 2:00 and I have the whole night to myself, not to mention Saturday and Sundays off. This, is setting me in an entierly new direction all together. And, dare I say it, I like it.

Today was tough at work. I woke up, as per usual, and got to the Grill at 5:55... AM! (shiver) I immediatly downed a cup of coffee and got to work. I made a Mayo Cake and it was a hit, thankfully. It seems Linda really likes my work and, hey, that's fine with me. I can't remember the last time George had complimented me on anything at all, when I worked at Cosmo's. Then again, having pride in my work has really made me what I am now. I mean, when you don't care about your job, it's easy to do crappy work and feel justified. Also, let me clarify my job for ya'll. I'm not the Grill-Man, nor do I wait tables. My job is a simple one but one I like taking to the next level. This job is also a key part of the daily routine at the grill. There are three people who work First Shift and each person is needed. Linda cooks everything. She works the Grill. Teresa waits tables and takes care of the front. That's her gig. I, do EVERYTHING else. I bake cakes and pies (always from scratch: YAY!), I wash dishes, I makes soup, I put away heavy orders and I prep EVERYTHING! Potatoes, tomatoes, Green Peppers, onions, Hamburger, Ham - You name it, I do it. Basically, I think of myself as Linda's Third Arm, and that's how I like it. I may not have the glory of Emeril or all the classiness that George Has owning Cosmo's, but dammit all... I'm happy. I don't remember the last time I felt fulfilled and accepted like this. These are my kind of people. And not just the staff, the customers are cool too!

WHAT? Did I say that?

Yes, I like the customers. No more whiney fuckin' art students or creepy assed she-males. No more PC garbage. No more pretention. These are real people who live in the real world. And they're all so cool...

Today, was a tough one though... We were busy. I was running my ass off trying to keep everything together for Linda and Teresa. It's weird that my job seems kind of insignificant to describem but without me (or at least someone) performing these duties, the Grill would come to an "almost" stop. I say almost because I honestly don't know how much Linda and Teresa could do without that third person, but I'm betting it would be "not good".

So I got done at work and I came home. I layed on the couch with our new cat Mr. Kitty, which Billy and I decided to call Mario instead. After a quick nap, I talked with Edwards (Who is rooting for Gary Coleman!) and then practiced some DJ stuff. I had a nice dinner with Nicole at El Zarrape but it was over way too quick. So I'm here now pouring my heart out to you all. Don't you just love it, chika-boom!

...For my next miracle I'm going to turn water into FUNK!!!
From The Family Guy

So, hey Edwards... How does it feel to know that your choices are Arnold Schwa... Schwa... ze... Uh, The Terminator, Gary Coleman or Larry Flynnt?

Oh, what a world we live in, huh? I mean, isn't it GREAT that we get to have Kobe Bryant (Or as I like to call him: OJ2) and his legal woes crammed down our neck every day? I am so sick of the news. I haven't seen anything that isn't sleezy or sacrin-sweet in a LONG time. I don't give a shit about Kobe and his pervert agenda! I don't give a shit about Joe-Schmoe who plants daisies for the old folks down the block! All I want is NEWS! Tell me about the economy! Give me some political news that DOESN'T involve celebrities who can't speak! (That goes for you too Mr Flynnt!) Tell me about world happenings that DON'T involve Al Ki-DUH! And for fuck's sake - stop whining about the gay bishop. If God has a problem with it, he WILL take care of it. Trust me on this one...

Oh, and I am SO sick of hearing about J-LO and Afflec... Why in the name of all that is holy are these two jack-off's getting so much press for doing such shitty work? Look, folks... Those two are NOT that interesting! Even when they're at their lowest, it's not that interesting. So they made a piece of shit movie. Big deal! Warren Beatty has made a LOT of shitty movies and you don't see his name in the papers EVERY day. Knock it off already!

Okay, it isn't probably the best idea to post about mixing twice in a row but hey... This is my journal so suck it.

I've been working on a downtempo mix for a few months now. I was very close to being finished, when -wouldn't you know it?- my PC commited suicide. I lost everything I had done and I was not in a state to rebuild right away.

So I started over.

Tonight I finally got it in order, and this is how it breaks down... This is my first continuous mix:

The Avalanches - Since I left you
Bent - Always (Nightmares on Wax Remix)
Lil Louie - Nyce & Slow
The Cure - Fascination Street
Eric B & Rakim - Paid in Full (Dub version)
Saint vs Sinner - myfaithinU
De La Soul - Keepin' the faith
Jeff Mills - Late Night (Mills Mix)
Sinead O'Conner & MC Lyte - I want your hands on me
Blondie - Maria (Talvin Singh Rhythmic Remix Edit)
Sylk 130 - Romeo's Fate
The Beta Band - The Hard One (Mouseman Remix)
FSOL - Amorphous Androgynous (Jacknife Lee Remix)
Monte Cross - Theme from A Clockwork Orange
St Germain - Sure Thing
Daft Punk - Something about us
Zimpala - New Home
Massive Attack - Protection
New Order - Your Shining Face

Basically, this is MY chill-out mix. I'm so sick of all the standard safe mixes that are out there for the chill-crowd. I am so sick of every mix having the obligatory Moby or Dido track, and I'm really tired of DJ's not even trying to mix. Simple fade suck, can you dig it? Basically this mix is just like me, slightly off in the conformity area, but expertly constructed by professionals...

Till later - Live fast, rock hard and let God guide you through all of it...

I was going through a lot of old CD's and CD-ROM's and found a few that I forgot I had. First off, I was looking for my copy of Full Trottle (Which doesn't work well at all with Win98) and found a bunch of other cool stuff. I found my copy of GTA-London 1969, Dark Forces, Sim Life, Sim Isle, and Sim City Classic. But the crown jewel was finding my lost copy of Redneck Rampage... I absolutely loved this disc, mostly because it was mixed mode and carried a whole soundtrack on it. Stuff like Mojo Nixon and The Reverand Horton Heat... So, I got this crazy hair up my ass to rip the songs and brun them to another disc for historic purposes, but then I decided to make a mix and elaborate ont he concept of Rednecks running around blowing shit up! So here's the run down...

Redneck Rampage Extended

The Refreshments - King of the Hill
Mojo Nixon - UFO's, Big Rigs & BBQ
Heuvos Rancheros - Beach Blanket Black Out
Sweet - Ballroom Blitz
The Beat Farmers - Baby's All Liquored Up
Etta James - Living Next Door To The Blues
Southern Cultures on the Skids - Deja Varoom
The White Stripes - Hello Operator
Mojo Nixon - She's all liquored up
Ted Nugent - Free For All
Reverand Horton Heat - Wiggle Stick
Mojo Nixon - Redneck Rampage (Edit)
Iguanas - My Girlfriend is a Waitress
Beat Farmers - Two Seconds of Blank Audio (Extended Dance Mix)
Slim Harpo - I'm a King Bee
Link Wray & His Ray Men - Rumble
John Carpenter & The Toadlickers - Slayers
Cement Pond - Vixen
Loretta Lynn - These boots are made for walkin'
Roger Allen Wade - If Yer Gonna Be Dumb
Mojo Nixon - You Can't Kill Me

Although not included in the mix, I think there are a few honorable mentions here too...
Reverand Horton Heat - Nurture My Pig
Chitlins, Whiskey & Skirt - Increased Chances
Brother Cane - Got No Shame
The Gone Jackels - Legacy
The Markeys - Last Night
Jon Wayne - Texas Funeral
Jerry Reed - East Bound & Down

Okay then. I've probably weirded ya'll out enough for one day. Jeb and I are supposedly going to work on some more music today so I'll fill you in on that later. I'm out...

"I'm gonna live a long long time... My Soul raves on forever!!!!"
- Mojo Nixon

Brian? You're home early. What happened with your date?"
Same thing that always happens. She was an idiot.
From The Family Guy

Again, another week in the bag. It's neat though, feeling so fullfilled for once...

This week was standard. I worked my regular hours, and helped Jeb move. In the spare time I was able to hang out with Nicole a few times and I have put together a new song called Lutheran Justice which has samples of Jimmy Swaggert, "Full Metal Jacket", and Dan Ackroyd. There's a classic sample of Jeb yelling "YOU NEED VICTORY OVER SATAN!!!" too. Basically, this song is a formal indictment of shady ministers. I'm not a freek about this stuff, and I don't go around jumping down peoples throats but... okay, here... If you are a minister or priest or rabbi or whatever, try to remember a few simple guidlines:

Don't touch, flirt with, or fuck little kids.
No horses either.
Money is for the church and it's ministry, not to buy you a ferrari...
Churches are not like Baseball teams, STOP trading up for bigger and better and stick with your congregation.
For fuck's sake, don't quote Yogi Bera, Bill Gates or the Dahli Lama in your newsletters. It's tacky, okay?

Okay then.

Aside from that, another great moment at work yesterday. I made an applesauce cake and Linda and Teresa were all about it. I put it out at 11:00 or so, and by 1:00 it was gone. Linda's exact words were: If you quit, I will hunt you down...

I'm still working on my mix too. I have it basically done. I'm going to re-record it one more time now that I have it all sorted out, but I still need to work on the levels, any effects, plus I need to install new CD-R software to assemble the mix to a CD. I have Easy-CD Creator now, but it won't let me bridge the gaps between tracks. With a continuious mix, this a problem. It's not cool to be chilling out a little St Germain action only to have a 2 second gap of silence and then the music comes back.

I'm listening to Damn it feels good to be a ganster right now, and I really want to watch The Blues Brothers. Billy's VCR is all screwed up and I no longer have a DVD drive so...

And now, some Jayisfullofwit "Classic Quotes":

"He's never going to get back to the pulpit with THAT attitude..."
- Harr

"What do you suppose Dad would be like if he were alive today?"
"Two words: Walter Sobcheck..."
- My brother answering my question

"That man belongs in prison getting Donkey Punched by inmates for the rest of his life...
- Edwards